However, if you’re like the many single 40-somethings out there, you realize that you’re in the prime of your life, and enjoying yourself is the name of the game.
In fact, with a myriad of life lessons already under your belt, now is probably the best time to find someone special—someone who is both a loyal companion and a true soul mate. Often, we are our worst enemies when it comes to having a healthy self-image and a positive vision for our life. A healthy lifestyle and a positive mindset are a prerequisite for relationship success. Many singles put their lives on hold until they meet “the one.” Don’t wait to take that special trip or try out a new restaurant. ” If you always wanted to take that mountain climbing class, do it. If your ideal man is George Clooney without the commitment issues, it is time to revise your list. It is easier for your mind to “create pictures” of how you want your love life unfold.
We’ve asked a panel of local experts to share their top tips for finding love after the age of 40. Hold that gaze just a split second too long and you may be surprised by the positive responses you’ll receive. Don’t be afraid to ask for professional assistance. Check online calendars such as Events in Your Area or Atlanta Buzz for local options. Many have met as a result of online sites such as Plenty of Fish, e Harmony, and Perfect Match. ) It’s normal to have baggage from past relationships or feel drained by the dating process, but remember not to unload heavy emotional issues or hurt feelings about your ex on early dates. Before you consider looking for love far away, consider that people in your community may have connections for you that you haven’t thought about. If most of your Saturday nights are spent hanging out with your friend, his or her spouse and two children, even if you adore them, it may be time to pick up new single women and men for friendship. Ask yourself: what are your top five deal breakers? You shouldn’t know if you want to marry someone after the first five minutes (contrary to popular belief and speed networking events! The only question you need to ask yourself on an early date is if you’re having fun and want to learn more about the other person or not. ), you may be anxious about getting back into the dating game. Look at this journey to love as an adventure, not a difficult task that may never end. Think of all of the relationships that have not worked out in the past and capture—on paper—all of the qualities that you are certain that you don’t want in your Dream Man or Woman. For more information or tips from the featured love experts and relationship coaches, visit them online: Uli Eitel, Sterling Introductions: Ingram, Atlanta’s Upscale Single: La Cota, It’s Just Lunch: Salisbury, Feel the Love International LLC: Uli Eitel, finding people to date at the age of 44 was no problem at all.
Their words of wisdom are designed to help you find the kind of relationship that meets your individual wishes and needs at this exciting point in your life. When you are grateful, you feel good about yourself and you are in the right frame of mind to attract love into your life. Define the values and qualities that you need to have in a life partner. We are open to reaching out for professional assistance in all areas of our lives—we hire tax consultants, investment professionals or personal trainers, yet when it comes to our love lives, we mistakenly believe that we can find our life partner by chance. The Fed EX person will not deliver your significant other to your door. Approach others with a smile and your business card. Networking events are great places to make connections. Submit an interesting profile with a current picture and let the communication begin! You may want to base this list on qualities people possessed who were difficult for you to handle in past relationships. You’re fabulous, no doubt, but there are probably things you did—or didn’t do—in your last relationship or on dates that you can learn from. Passion is one of the sexiest qualities you can possess. So many daters focus on their flaws and why someone they like would never be interested in them. Remember that the act of love requires taking risks and being open—with your mind and in your heart. Start getting excited about all the new people you will meet. If you focus on fear, you become more fearful; if you focus on doubt, more doubtful. Now that you are focused on what you want—love—start acting on that emotion. Friend love and family love are both very powerful emotions. Steer clear of any conversations about how terrible it is to be dating at 40, or how there are “no good men or women out there.” Remember to keep your focus on what you want and also remember that you only need one. Creating a Dream Partner List is possibly the most important thing you can do when you are looking for love. Grab your journal and a glass of wine, put on some Barry White or whatever does it for you and then go to work on capturing all of the qualities that you want and desire in your partner. The truth is that your list is just an exercise to help you be clearer about what it is you want to attract and what you will be looking for in a mate. It was finding the right people—people who shared her life goals—that was the issue.
You may be on the lookout right now, using such successful online dating sites as or e Harmony, through which thousands upon thousands of people have found love. Don’t let yourself be influenced by negative thoughts about your age. Love can and will happen at any age, if you are open and receptive. How joyful and happy we feel is reflected in our appearance and energy level, and it is directly connected to our personal relationships. One of the great gifts I gave myself when I was single was a Caribbean Cruise. Besides pushing your limits and challenging the status quo, trying new things also presents great opportunities to meet people. Be realistic about the type of partner you see yourself with. Being over 40 is the best age to finally know what’s important in life and relationships. Schedule an evening, invite some friends over and go through magazines, finding pictures that represent the life that you want and the partner that you want. As you are out in the dating world, experiencing many different people and dating experiences, take the time to open up your journal and capture the things you like and dislike from each person you encounter.
Or, you could be out on the singles scene in Atlanta, making connections as you visit the city’s numerous hot spots. I had the time of my life and actually met a few eligible gentlemen on board. If you meet someone who has the core values and character traits that are important to you, but he may be a bit shorter than your ideal, give it a chance. We can now learn from past mistakes and get it right. Men love women who are easy-going, fun and flirtatious. Sunset cruises, a couple on a beach, a loving family—whatever it is that you desire. Add to that Dream Partner List and the Partner From Hell List.
You still have at least 30 more years of sex in your lifetime (if you want to)!
Whatever avenue you prefer for meeting people, it never hurts to have some valuable, realistic advice from the experts as you navigate the sometimes choppy waters of finding real, everlasting love. If your flirting skills could use some brushing up, practice in a non-threatening environment, such as a shopping mall or grocery store. There are plenty of stories about high school sweethearts rekindling the romance. (If you were married for years, the idea of dating again may be overwhelming! Besides, people are drawn to people who are positive! Not only will they be there to support you, but they also can help facilitate introductions. At a certain age, it’s common for singles to feel that they are in a different life stage than their married friends. If you keep dating the same type of person and it’s not working, it may be time to revise your checklist. If you’ve been hurt (and let’s face it, at a certain point in life we all have! We all know what we don’t want and have probably dated him or her several times. Finding the right partner could happen overnight or it could take a little time. Again, this is just another way to have fun with this process. Saying NO to one thing is actually saying YES to something else.Here’s what they said, followed by my thoughts on how they might overcome these dating problems and attract their best relationship.◊♦◊This is a common complaint from women. So guys, please pay attention to more than the boobs and the butt.The other B, the brain, is just as important, especially as you’re getting to know a woman. Anyone who’s looking for a true connection is more likely to find it with someone closer to their age.It’s not likely to happen like that at this age, and on the rare occasions when it does, the relationship is usually based on nothing more than lust. A mature woman who values herself doesn’t want to date a man who’s a victim or stuck in the past.Would you rather crash and burn or have a slow sizzle that bursts into hot flames over time? She’s going to walk away and find a grownup guy.◊♦◊Guys, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe there’s a ‘lid for every pot’, a body type for every guy. Those things are far more important than a Harvard or Yale degree, or whether or not he speaks Mandarin.◊♦◊People in big cities say it’s hard to meet anyone.